The Girl That's Fucked Up
People only know how I feel if I show them. If I look sad, it's because I don't care if you know that I'm sad. If I'm crying in front of you (which is rare), its because I'm not stopping myself from doing so. I don't like people doing more then I let them know, and I like it like that.
My friends try their best to make me happy whenever i'm feeling kind of shitty, expect I dont share much with them. After a certain period, I'll stop sharing with a person, even if that's all I use to do, I'll just stop.After a certain time I'll start to believe myself as a burden and I'll stop telling someone as much as I use to. If I keep coming to someone with my problems, then eventually they'll get tired of listening to them and I'll just be the girl that can't control herself. I don't want to be that girl, so I never give anyone the ability to feel that way so I stop sharing. After I decided that, it just becomes happy-go lucky from then on out.
Due to past experices, I realized that people aren't one for listening to youre problems. Eventually all they have left to say is "okay" after you've just poured your heart out. I refuse to get to the point with any of my friends. I don't want them to think of me as 'the girl thats always sad' or 'the girl that cries a lot'. I don't want to be labled that, but sadenly enough, that's my life. I do cry a lot, and recently, I've been some type of sad everyday.
I just want to be okay and I dont want to be like this. I want to be normal and I want to be happy and I want to be better but I'm not. I'm a fucked up girl who always finds a reason to hate herself or to hate something.I just want to be okay, i dont want to be broken.
I want to be fixed, but I have no one to help me.