The Girl That's Fucked Up
I have diagnosed myself with the condition of overthinking.It's a condition that most teenage girls face, and sadly I have a severe case of it. When me and ex broke up, as you know, I was a wreck. So when he wanted to be friends,I wasn't very keen on the idea. It was too hard to be friends with him, because then everything he said or everything that happened I would overthink it. He would say one thing and I would think it meant another. I was feeding that 25% of me.
After about 3 days of trying out the friend thing, I eventually told him that I couldn't do it.
For some reason I never deleted our text thread, so this is exactly what I said: "I know that to you this probably won't be a big deal or whatever, but we can't really be friends. You might think that you're just being nice and you are, its just I can't talk to you and be friends with you, because every step I take forward one day, I take two steps back when we talk. I want to try to move on from you and I can't if you compliment my photo or ask how I'm doing because then I start to hope and think things that I shouldn't and there isn't a point to it. And it's not like I'm saying we have to be assholes to each other, we just can't do the whole friend thing."
After I said that he was okay with it and we didn't talk afterwards. Well except for the occasional text he would send asking me a question about something that only I would know, but other than that, nothing. So imagine my surprise when I glance down at my phone and see a text from him. Now I didn't really know what to think, so of course my first reaction is to think that he texted me to brag about his new girlfriend or something (he's not the kind of guy to do that, my brain just goes straight for the worst case scenario).
Looking at the message he says "I have a question." Now of course my head now goes to the optimistic 25% of me, but then drops back down to the worst case scenario when he asks if I still have his hoodie.So now I'm thinking he's going to ask for it back to give to his new girlfriend.Now that wouldn't be awkward. But the answer is yes, I do. I wasn't sure how to give it back. After me stating this oh so fasciating fact, he some how moves to the topic of me looking different the last time he saw me at this fast food place. So I decide to play dumb saying I didn't see him. Then he says something that I didn't expect. He was hiding from me. Why? Why was he hiding from me? If anything I should've been hiding from him! He proceeds to tell me it was because he wasn't sure how to act since we weren't able to be friends. He had a point. Personally I wouldn't know what to do if I ran into someone that didn't want to be my friend. But anyways, I tell him that its okay. I was in a bad place when I said that and its okay if he wants to be friends.
Now I was expecting a lot of different things to happen after I said this, but him saying "Thank god" was not one of them. What the hell is that suppose to mean? Did he actually want to be friends with me?
Now here I am, overthinking this miniature statement and freaking myself out. Frankly this could all just be some random joke and I'll probably end up never talking to him again. But either way, I wouldn't even know how to be friends with my condition.