The Girl That's Fucked Up
*FYI theres going to be a lot of sarcastic parts in this, so you have to figure it out
What 14 and 15 girl doesn't want to be scared in her own home. What girl doesn't want to feel like she has to lock her doors before going to sleep so that way she doesn't wake up to someone standing over her bed at night. I thought every girl wanted that....
My father doesn't have a family besides his immediate. He has 6 siblings who half are insane and the other half only talk to him so he can give him money, including his mother. Along with this my father had a rough life growing up, but luckily he could count his friend of 47 years, who he thinks of as a brother. My uncle Derek.
Now, since he thought of Derek as a brother that would make his son my fathers nephew. Since they were basically family, they would come over all the time.They would hand out with us at graduation parties and barbecues and every cliche family event you could think of.
Between 14 and 15 my fathers nephew molested me a numerous amount of times in my own home.
I was never so scared to live in this house until he would come over. Never scared to go to sleep until he would spend the night with my brother.Never purposely but myself against a wall until he walked past.
Me telling him to stop never seemed to click with him.I guess I was an easy target. I was 14 he was 17, then I was 15 and he was 18. He weighted an easy 150 pounds more then me. Intimidating in every way and on every level. So I just took it.
I took whatever he did... Thankfully it never got too bad. Ya know, only some touching here and there. And only trying to touch me in my sleep just a couple of times, ya know stuff like that. Nothing too bad... Funny enough though, I blamed myself for it.Thought it was my fault. Thought i tempted him to do this in some way. Crying myself to sleep thinking that I deserved this. That I led him on...Took me awhile to realize it wasn't.
I knew that if I told my father, he would kill him. Meaning my father wouldn't have anyone. He would be left with the people who hasn't cared about him since he was a kid. He would be left with the family that only comes to beg. I didn't want him to have that. So I just took it until he finally stopped.
Which evidently enough was this year....
I recently learned that my mother thinks I've never been through pain. Well little does she know.