The Girl That's Fucked Up
Here's the thing...I go to a mostly white school. And lets face it, white girls don't have the best bodies. Now I'm not race hating, its just true. Typically white girls in high school have flat asses and flat chests, but they can grow into it, so it's not the end of the world. However, black girls tend to "evolve" a little faster. I'm black. I've "evolved" into what you might call "thick". Thick pretty much means you have big tits, tiny waist,big thighs, and a fat ass. For a little better description of what I look like, my tits aren't the biggest, my waist isn't the smallest, and my thighs are a little to big for my liking. But, my ass...my ass used to be fantastic. It literally was a show stopper. And it was by far the best thing about me.
For as long as I can remember, I have been an insecure girl. I hated how I look, still do. My boobs look terrible without a bra, my thighs are all fat, my waist is barely anything, and my ass, the ass that made me so confident and so happy to be me, well that disappeared.
Now this probably sounds super stupid and really trivial, but my ass meant a lot to me. I have never been a confident person, I've never loved my body, until my ass got big. Somehow on some special day, there is was, POOF!, an ass, and it was great! People knew me from my ass, I was literally labeled "the freshman with the fat ass". Considering that I go to a mostly white school, it wasn't that hard to have the biggest ass in school, but I had it. That was me, the freshman with the fat ass, and that label made me feel good. It made me the best at something, which I typically never am.
In middle school I wasn't pretty and I didn't have a good body.I was a depressed little fucker at one point or another and I had horrible self-esteem issues. I needed someone to make me feel like I was pretty and worth talking to, but that didn't really work out (story for another time). Anyway, I always felt like shit in that time of my life, and then came high school, and I was on cloud 9. I felt pretty all the time, I felt like a could literally bang any guy in that school, and based on a small toll, I could. So now this little girl that was insecure about herself 24/7 and would try and starve herself just to be skinny felt good, she felt like she was pretty.
But then, that girl trys to get fit. She tries to be healthy and workout,eat better, and lose a couple pounds. And it actually worked. She started to drop some pounds and she started to feel even better about herself, but then that girl not only drops a waist inch, but she drops most of what made her feel good in the first place. Her ass was gone, it was small,half of what it use to be, and she was crushed. Because now what is she suppose to do? How is she suppose to act? She's lost what made her pretty.She lost what made her confident. She lost the only thing that made her feel worthy,sexy,wanted. What does she have now?
She's never loved her acne prone face, everything else on her body was saggy and fatty. What about that is pretty? What about that do guys want? She was considered smart,yes, but who gave a shit.Who the fuck cares? No body would know she was smart because no body would take a damn minute to get to know her. At least when she had an ass people would talk to her, but now she has nothing, so now she'll just be one lonely ugly fucker. Yippy for her!
One more fucking problem that's gonna fly through her head.That's gonna fly through my head.