The Girl That's Fucked Up
If I can't deal with my problems, if it over whelms me so much that I physically feel like I'm going to burst, I just go to sleep. Of course when I wake up I have so deal with whatever problem it is, but sleeping gives me a momentary relief. It lets me dream about something, a what if, a possibility that seems better then what's going on. It allows me to escape from whatever shit hole I'm in.
Sleeping pushes off the inevitable of me having to deal with my problems,yes, but it's so satisfiying to being able to dream and imagine something better, to dream about the "light at the end of the tunnel". It some how reminds me that this isn't it, that even though it feels like I'm about to throw up my guts and I'm having a heart attack, it reminds me that i still have a life that I haven't lived. That no matter what pain I'm in, there's a chance it'll get better. And I need to rely on that chance.
The sucky thing is, I can't dream all day every day. So this feeling goes away as fast as it came.